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Jul 6, 2004
An cherry cokes under the moonlit summer sky..........

I got the highlights cd from phantom of the opera an i love it.......It's amazing.  One of my dreams is to be Christine from Phantom of the Opera.  I am gonna try an get training an all that of coarse cuz god knows i need it.  But man that wuld b great........just me an those notes an no1 can tell me i can't do it either......I wuld love to.  Ne way......i had a blast this week so far....i dun wanna get into it but it wuz fun so yea i am gonna go now bye bye

Posted at 05:19 pm by ZeppelingirlZ
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Jul 3, 2004
I'm Not A Perfect Person

This week really sucked.........i went to work an pete came over a few times but that won't b happening ne more.  Now that i can say this i will i definatly should have just stayed with Barry.  I'm not sayin that Pete was a mistake but we just didn't clik the same way Barry and i did.  I just hope it's not too late to fix things which is ok if it is.  I deserve it.........the runaround.  I dunno how i screwed this up...........I dunno wut is gonna happen to me now but w/e.  It's almost as if time is rewinding itself.  Maybe this is the opportunity for me to go back and make it right........I shuldn't ahve screwed up in the first place............and the excuse that i have never been in that situation isn't going to work this time either which i didn't deserve for it to work at all...i got lucky.......very very lucky.  And i am happy an greatfull for the time i had with pete. It wuz fun we when everywhere but he just didn't feel a conncetion and our communication was breaking down when that happneds u lose the whole structure an everything crumbles.  It culd have been much worse and i am happy it wuzn't.  But now there is a lot less stress so that's ok i guess.  I really don't have a choice so i had some friends to fall back on and that is a good thing to have.  Have no clue wut i am doin this weekend and tomorow my grandparents are commin up for the 4th so that shuld b fun......They ahve to b the wisest people i no.  It's almost like they are omniscient.  Like they are the panacea for all problems.  Or wutever darkens the soul at the moment they know they perfect thing to say to make u laugh and forget about it. It's like they have lived 1000 years but their faces don't look aged over 70.  Ever since i wuz a kid i always loved going over thier house.  Especially the one in North Providence.........It was sooo peaceful there and I always found time to reflect and look back I just get this nostalgic feeling whenever i go there.  But i am home now and more and more i find myself just hangin out with kids from here.  Like Pete anf Jeff and  alot of other people.  I have fun an i am gonna have a blast this summer.  no matter wut

Posted at 10:25 am by ZeppelingirlZ
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Jun 8, 2004
I'll kiss your dark martins lemme kiss your dark martins ur every wish i will obey......

I need help i really screwed up.  I told this kid barry iliked him an i do.......but i also like pete an they both like me.  But i told barry i wuld go out with him first......but then iwuzn't sure so I told him i didn't want to......but then i changed my mind again an i really like the both of them.  I just feel sooo alone and i just need either a hug or to talk about it.  I hate the way things are goin.  Yesterday i wuz floating an now i am soooo sad it's amazong how a whole fucking day con go to hell in about 2 seconds.  I have no clue how to get out of this no fucking clue i'm soooooooooo screwed.  Plus exams are tomorow so i won't b able to concentrate an i will probably fail an like die..............I got about 4 hours of sleep bucz i culdn't stop thinking.  Now i am in a class with a bunch of idiots.  No1 in this skool likes me an i don't blame them!!!!!!!! I am in the shit house either way!!!! I love how yesterday i culdn't b happier and now i could kill myslef.  I mean it culd get worse and it probably will but like things are pretty bad.  I'm sooo angry god i am soooo stupid.  Y did i do that?? Y did i fuck everything up?? y??y??y???  I just wanna b a kid again an like not worry about this.  It's not fair i am such a loser an y do i always do that????????? I feel sooo bad bcuz i gave them the run around.  God please kill me.  please!!!!! My eyes burn an my head hurts bcuz of me crying.  If only i culd shed enough tears.  All i wanna do is just go home and try to fix things but i can't bcuz i will just make them worse.  O have knack for doin that.  I feel soooo bad an i dunno wut to do.  please sum1 help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BARRY AND PETE I AM SOOOOO SRY AN I FEEL HORRIBLE PLEASE DON'T GET MAD................................PLEASE FORGIVE ME :'(. 

Posted at 08:47 am by ZeppelingirlZ
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Jun 7, 2004
Got to Know Why Can't This Be Love

I had a great weekend.  I went out on friday with my friends we went to the smithfield commons.  I got a buch of new stuff like a few thingy's of make up (god knows i need it) a movie we went out to eat a bunch of other fun stuff.  On saturady i went to the concert and i had a blast.   I got thrown in a mosh pit and i had sooooo much fun.  The bands were great and the people were awesome too.  On sunday i went to church >:(.  I was supposed to go out with my friends anthony and melissa but we culdn't because anthony is the king of sleep and he didn't et up in time and he had to go with his cousins.  I went on line after an talked to jeff and barry and friend matt.  And i think i might b goin out on saturday with barry.  Which is fun.......yea so i have clas in a few and i can't stop smiling and i'm tryin to take advantage of it bfore sumthin bad happends and i start to cry lol so currently i am happy but that all could change very soon.  SO i am gonna go down to mrs. monahan an get my piks from my semi and then i am goin to class so LATER!!!!!!!

Posted at 12:21 pm by ZeppelingirlZ
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Jun 4, 2004
School's Out With Fever

I am in school and i hate it.  These computers suck.  And i wuld b down in the cafeteria but i have no1 to sit with and the people i normaly associate with i don't even want to see.  So yea i am going to have a killer summer i can't wait i am saving my money for a guitar and a car.  Plus clothes and stuff but i will make over 3 thousand dollars this summer anyway so i doesn't matter.  I don't have to heard or see anyone from this miserable shit hole for the whole summer........yay!!!!  I wonder what it will b like though.  Last summer was a total disaster i wuld have been better off staying in skool.  I was actually happy to get back lol.  I am never happy to be in school. I have math next and i don't wanna go.  I have also discovered that i think sooo negatively and that as well has to stop.  it's a beautiful day out......that is a start.  I can't belive i am gonna b a junior soon i can't wait.  Althugh i will miss a few seniors.  My friend jenn is giving me her copy of the great gatsby so that she knows we will see eachother again. That's about al li have to talk about.  I have to go upstairs to math now......o joy.........::rolls eyes:: so i have to go now.........later!!!!!!!

Posted at 11:31 am by ZeppelingirlZ
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May 16, 2004
Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch

Ok so a few of my friends really need to get over themselves.  There is this one girl who i had a fight with cuz she sed i looked gross and she is supposed to b my friend.  I sed her/my friend.  And then she sed to unroll my skirt i admit it wuz a lil short but u don't tell ur friend that they look gross.  OK so i just say bye guys in an agrivated way an just stormed off.  Now they person i initially gave the attitude to has forgiven me and this happend ooooooooooooooo about 2 fucking weeks ago. now the person i sed hi to, is still mad at me.......even though she turned around an asked one of my other friends "isn't her skirt so short?" an that person is mad at me. even though they have no right 2 b i haven't been mean i even appoligized.  but she is still acting like a 2 year old ya no the wholle let's not make eye contact with her cuz i am a stupid fucking bitch who always has to b right.  i am failing 3 classes and need to get those up so i have a lot to do.  O an i have a class at perishable art theater And i might not b working this sumer which blows.  I dunno wtf to do . I hate this school soooooooo much.  o well byebye

Posted at 09:01 pm by ZeppelingirlZ
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Mar 21, 2004
Your dream is over Or has it just begun??

wow i han't written in a long time.  Today sucked. I went dress shopping didn't find a thing.  O well. I hate skool. I have a high soprano note and thre is this girl who just doest think i can do it an she influences everyone.  I hate it!!!!!!  I feel soo alone right now.  i don't know why but i am jsut really scared an i just wish i had a real friend to depend on.  I dunno wut to do.  The kids i like one of em won't ask me out an the other wel dun even no i am alive. I have guitar lessons wednesday!!! yay!!! well i dunno ne more.  so ya no wut just let it all go.......

Posted at 08:25 pm by ZeppelingirlZ
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Mar 18, 2004
May god have mercy on my soul

Today sucked.  I think it might b the worst day of my life.  First i come in and i am late for homeroom again.  I lost my free for the next 7 days and i had a whole class full of people laugh at me.I took a drink like 5 times in class and mr. syvester told me that if i took another sip that i wuld get detention for a week so i just put it away. Then before that at lunch i culdn' find ne where to sit and my candy got stuck in the machine.  So i just went on my way and then we watched a nasty video in health.  Ok yea i am abstaining from sex. 


Posted at 08:50 pm by ZeppelingirlZ
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Mar 15, 2004
Spilled her coffee broke her shoe lace.....

Ok today wuz ok.  I had gala an then i went home. I am catchin a cold which is fucking great lol. o god i need help.  i feel soo sick. today sucked as usual o well .. i need meds my head is gonna explode.  sleep is also needed as well. 

Posted at 08:36 pm by ZeppelingirlZ
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Mar 13, 2004
You beg for help but your alone stuck in a helpless rage

I hate the way i feel. I don't even want to go to skool monday i feel so awful.  i don't know wut is goin on i am soo confused i don't know wut happened i jus have a bad feeling.  Yesterday i finally told sum1 about that girl i hate an i hope she dun find out.  i dunno wut i want ne more.  I feel so weird an just alone.  It's strange.  I don't even know who i can trust any more.  I am soo confused.  I hate the feeling of thinking everyone is trying to exclude me in the worst way.  Recently i have found more an more that i don't trust john though. i really can't trust him.  I feel like i am getting on everyones nerves.  i feel like i am an insane person.  Like i can feel the insanity rising in my head.  I feel like i can't trust any of my friends.   It's not fun i have trouble with not having the feeling that sum1 is making fun of me.  I hate it it feels strange an lonely.  I have no idea waht to think or do. 

Posted at 06:40 pm by ZeppelingirlZ
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